Compassion, Curiosity and Courage: When in doubt, these secret ingredients can combine to transform scary relationship moments into beautiful ones.
I had the pleasure of facilitating my weekly relationship transformation session tonight on the Shanti Mission Events page. It was about creating courageously compassionate space for our own and other's idiosyncrasies, emotions, and imperfections.
None of us are perfect - and none of us are supposed to be! Strange triggers, reactions and unexpected behaviors are going to emerge occasionally both from our own unconscious and the unconscious of whoever we are in relationship with.This is part of the plan. It is supposed to be this way, and even though the objective is to heal these unconscious parts so they create less havoc, (for ourselves and others) it is an ever-growing garden, and the only way through is compassion.
It is a gift of true, deep, safe, love-filled relationships to be able to be with each other with compassion while the stuff we didn't know about arises. Whenever we are triggered in relationship, it is an opportunity to discover something we didn't know about ourselves: 'Why is this triggering me?' Having discovered this trigger we didn't know we had, we can then begin to bring love to it, and to transform that part of our shadow into light.
These moments are also opportunities to better know and understand the beloved: 'I didn't expect them to do/say that.... I wonder what about this situation may be triggering them? How can I listen from a place of seeking understanding rather than seeking to be right?'
If we can handle our triggers and the triggers of our beloveds like this, with courageous, compassionate space for the truth to be revealed, both parties become enriched and are more enabled to grow into their own best self.
Suddenly, triggers in relationships don't have to be scary things to hide from. They can be beautiful opportunities to become more whole - and to fall into more love, both with the self and with each other.